This is not a post that I would typically write, but I was talking to a friend of mine the other night and the subject came up. I was compelled to write about it, as it seems to be a global issue.
I thought of over a dozen instances where woman compete or battle one another for reasons that are beyond me. It seems to be something that is being taught subconsciously. Why is it that for every woman, there is a challenger? Is it self hate? Envy? Misery? I believe there are many reasons for our competitive nature, which I won’t get into now(maybe another time). It seems to be getting worse with each generation. There’s so many instances where this competitive behavior shows up. Here is a list of the competitors my friend and I discussed:
- Young vs. Old
- Rich vs. Poor
- Single vs. Married vs. Divorced
- Has one child vs. Has multiple children
- Breastfeeds vs. Formula Feeds
- Natural birth vs. Medicated birth vs. C-section
- Virgin vs. Non-Virgin
- Natural hair vs. Relaxed hair
- Stay home mom vs. Works outside the home mom
- Trying to conceive vs. Had a miscarriage
- Religious vs. Worldly
- Race vs. Race
- Baby momma vs. Wife or New girlfriend
- Emotional vs. Apathetic
As I was typing, more kept coming to mind, but I didn’t want to fill the entire post with competitions. Can you relate to any competitor’s on my list? I can relate to just about all of them. There have been times when I was the challenger, contributing to the invalidation of another woman, even if it wasn’t out of malice. I’ve also experienced the other side, being the one who is being challenged for something I believe or do. Is it in our nature? I mean, is this what it’s come to? Battle of the women. Have you heard of one-uppers? No matter what you say, they always have something bigger and better. There’s also the opposite of one-uppers, I guess you could call them one-downers? For instance, here is a conversation between a woman and a one-downer:
Woman: I have a headache.
One-downer: Girl, be glad you don’t get migraines! I have suffered from migraines all my life and they are much worse than any headache you’ve ever had!
Woman: My feelings were hurt when my friend lied to me.
One-downer: Girl, my friend not only lied to me and told everybody else lies about me; but she also got on youtube, made a video about me! My whole family and church watched it and it got over 1,000,000 views. My life was ruined!
Sometimes a kind response or listening ear is all that’s needed. I can only speak for myself but, a lot of times I have turned things around and made it about myself. It feels like I’m relating, but sometimes I may be making the other lady feel as if what she has said is invalid. That is the behavior I want to change. I want to become a better sister, first by apologizing not only to my natural sisters, but to all ladies for ever exhibiting this behavior. I am thinking on a global level. I hope that you are with me.
What an amazing world this would be if we as women, Ladies, joined together in sisterhood! Think about this, if we were to lift each other up, giving each other praise and encouragement with no expectation or personal benefit. We can listen to our sisters without one-upping or one-downing each other. Celebrating each other’s victories together. I challenge you to help change the world. We are so powerful as women, and even more-so when we work together. Start by speaking to a cashier or waitress and giving a compliment just because. If you see someone that appears to be sad, do something small to cheer them up. These are just some suggestions, you can do what feels right to you. Go over the list of competitor’s above and lets start crossing them off. Showing more love is key. Change starts with one.
This is not just a female issue though! I’ve seen this same behavior exhibited in men. I think they are just as competitive if not more than we women are. I am going to ask my husband if he would write a guest post with his ideas on the topic of “Brotherhood” in the near future. I don’t like to say to much on these subjects, because these are my opinions. I’m searching for solutions to these problems, but I’m no expert in human behavior. I only hope to spark something within you to get your gears turning, wanting to seek more knowledge on these issues so that we can all change for the better.
I always say, I love to hear your questions and comments, but I really do want to hear your opinions and experiences on the topic of sisterhood. Can you relate to any of the competitor’s I listed? As always, thanks for reading I really do appreciate it. If this touched you in any way, help me spread the love by SHARING THIS! (Just click on one of the share links below)